*This is 99% taken straight from the pages of my journal.
I feel like I just found out the most valuable piece of wisdom I have ever understood in my life- this one is seriously a life changer!!
In focusing on my failures, in taking my eyes off of Christ, I end up trying to fix my hurts and failures myself- In turn, failing even harder. Which leads to self condemnation... and then Im just digging the biggest hole because there is no strength in me that can heal my own heart. When I just focus on Christ, dwelling with Him, in realtions with Him, He does the rest. If I am truly seeking him with a thirsty heart, a "poor spirit" as Matthew 5:3 puts it, He fills me with love and every other good spiritual fruit. He grows me, prunes me, heals me, and strengthens my faith in Him. The more I love Jesus is the more I hate sin, that's a fact.
It can never work the other way around. When I try, and have greatly tried in the past, and will probably do again in the future, to switch out Step one (love God), and make it to be step two, and vise versa, I have and will always fail. I don't start to hate my sin- and then the more I do that- begin to love Jesus. That "formula" is actually IMPOSSIBLE according to the truths of the Scripture. Romans 3:10-11:
"as it is written:
“None is righteous, no, not one;
No one understands;
No one seeks for God.""
No one seeks for God.""
We cannot even love or please Jesus apart from Him giving us a heart for Him! There is no way to reverse these "steps". (And I use these words lightly because this isn't a self help book Im writing here.) I'm just wanting to share what the Lord has revealed to me: Stop trying to clean up your life and heal your own heart. If you could, If I could, we wouldn't need the Great Physician to start with.
God is most glorified and pleased when we are most satisfied in Him. He takes the rest from there. In our still moments alone with our Saviour, pouring out our hearts and reaching out to know more of Him, is where He comes in and refines us. We focus on Him as He refines us, never refining ourselves in order to focus more on Christ. That's where false religion, pride, and a false heart for God is created.
Too much love,
HJ
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